Layne Staley, 1967 - 2002
I seek Alice in Chains when I’m bored. I heed their words when I’m troubled. I lose myself in their music when I’m happy. Alice has and will always be my go-to band. It is highly ridiculous that it is Layne Staley’s 10th death anniversary today. I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it. I love him, so there.
In no particular order, here’s how my top of the pops Alice playlist looks like -
Poltergeist
I’m not a horror aficionado. I’m just a girl who giggles with glee at the prospect of watching horror movies. Here is the second part of my list of favourite cinematic trick ‘n’ treats. For the first part, click here – Oh, the Horror! Part I
HORROR-COMEDIES
Horror-comedy, as a genre, is aberrant, and it really shouldn’t work. Yet, every now and then one glorious blood-splattered fluke comes along and makes us shudder and giggle.
Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead (2004) – Horror movies are not generally known for their smartly written scripts. Shaun of the Dead is an exception to this rule. The Simon Pegg starrer is a hilarious bloodbath about a dysfunctional man trying to fend off a zombie apocalypse with help of his equally dysfunctional friends. The uniqueness of Shaun of the Dead is that it has done what no other zombie movie has ever attempted – given us a definite happy ending.
Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness (1992) – Ah, Ash, he is the man, with a chainsaw attached to his hand. The Evil Dead series always had an undercurrent of comedy, but the last installment, Army of Darkness, took it to the hilt. Army of Darkness took a turn from the morbid humour of the previous two films and went straight for slapstick comedy. In this film, Bruce Campbell’s iconic character is transported to the Middle Ages where he must fight evil souls and make his way back to the present. It is quite the horrific lame ride.
An American Werewolf in London (1981) – One of the greatest werewolves movie to be ever made, An American Werewolf in London, straddles the line between campy and witty with great ease. It is easy to understand why the transformation scene where the protagonist turns from a charming young man into a feral furry beast is stuff of horror classics. It is savage and real, something which cannot be achieved by Hollywood special effects of today.
FREAKY FLICKS
Odd and quaint, these are not the adjectives I would use to describe these movies. Freaky? HELL YES!
Deadgirl
Deadgirl (2008) – Deadgirl is a bizarre story about two high school boys stumbling upon a naked undead girl, all chained up, in an abandoned mental hospital. The boys face a grave quandary. To stab the undead girl or to rape the undead girl? The boys solve the problem by doing both. However, raping zombie girls can never bear any good consequences. Watch this movie only if you feel like taking a trip down the psychologically sick lane.
I’m not a horror aficionado. I’m just a girl who giggles with glee at the prospect of watching horror movies. So, without further ado, here is a list of my favourite cinematic trick ‘n’ treats.
SLASHER FILMS
The murderous stalker, the virginal goody two shoes and lots of gory kills – Its like Scooby Doo for bloodthirsty grown ups
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – Creepy Hitchhikers! Creepy Meat Hooks! Creepy Cannibalistic Family! Hey, Creepy Furniture too! Apart from an awesomely epic sounding title, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre had it all – although its greatest contribution to the world has got to be the menacing yet almost naive chainsaw-swinging Leatherface.
Friday the 13th (1980) – Annoying sex-crazed teenage camp counselors ALWAYS need to die a horrific death. Before Jason Voorhees with his fashionably scary hockey mask murdered his way through a very successful franchise, it was Mama Voorhees that was doing all the gory avenging in the first film.
Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) – Lusty teenagers are the targets again, this time by the very sinister Mr. Freddy Krueger. By having the killer hack off people in their dreams, Nightmare was a very unique slasher film of its time. Plus, its always fascinating to see Johnny Depp’s guts splattered all over the ceiling.
EXPLOITATION FILMS
Two words – Torture Porn
The Last House on the Left
The Last House on the Left (1972) – Guts are spilled, literally, in this Wes Craven horror show. Two teenage girls are captured, tortured and murdered by a band of borderline incestual psychos. Scenes of brutal ripping of the innards and biting off genitals ensure that there is plenty of bloodshed in this film. This was the very deranged beginning of Wes Craven’s very deranged filmography.
New Year’s Eve. Drunken haze. Random conversations. Bret Easton Ellis’ name is being thrown about. “How fucked up are his characters?” “Awesomely fucked up”. The conversation runs its natural course and steers towards Chuck Palahniuk. Not long after, Irvine Welsh pops up as a topic of discussion. Boom. There you have it. The Unholy Trinity of Ellis, Palahniuk & Welsh; also known as the Three Kings of nihilism and apathy.
Transgressive Fiction, that’s the genre under which these respected authors/demented souls are clubbed under. Of course, they all have different styles of writing and they deal with different classes of society – but their books are shockingly amoral and their characters, at best, aberrant.
Twists and shocks aside, the core of the stories from these authors is all about apathy, loneliness, and disconnect. Human beings are known to do the most repugnant things in order to feel. Anything. So, the characters engage in sexual depravity, drug addiction, physical violence, and when pushed to the extreme, suicide and murder; in order to feel of course.
Bret Easton Ellis His books centers around the rich and the privileged. There is no sense of right or wrong in this world. They exist in their own little bubbles, living their excessive, selfish lives through their medicated haze. Ellis’ debut novel, Less Than Zero, hits the nail squarely on the desensitized lives we are capable of living. A writing device which Ellis frequently uses, and which I think brings out the best of the worst in his characters, is the unreliable narrator. Did Paul Denton truly sleep with Sean Bateman in The Rules of Attraction? In American Psycho did Patrick Bateman butcher all those people? We won’t know. All the narrators/characters in his books only look out for themselves and/or are engrossed with themselves. It’s all superfluous and at the same time, strangely deep. Continue reading
Rest in Peace
It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and my Internet is down. My mind is telling me to reach for a book, but my body says “Hey man. Let me rest. Why don’t we just press these little buttons on this remote right next to us?” – so the channel surfing begins. After 10 minutes of flipping channels, I find Cartoon Network; or the ghost of Cartoon Network, from what I could gather. Cartoon Network was dead, I sadly realized. Much sorrow and sympathy goes out to my little nephew and niece who will never know how awesome Cartoon Network used to be. To honour the dead, in no particular order, here are my favourite Cartoon Network shows. Remember them?
(Click on the show for opening credits and intros)
SWAT Kats: The Radical Squardon – Whether you are a girl or a boy, T-Bone and Razor had you hooked. I loved this action packed series about crime fighting CATS. I might even had a crush on T-Bone as a kid. I’ll never tell.
Dexter’s Laboratory – Stuck between Dee Dee’s dance and Mandark’s evil laugh, no wonder Dexter had to keep running to his secret lab for solace. Even though most his inventions got him into a world of trouble, Dexter just kept on building them. Respect.
Ed, Edd n Eddy – Stoners 101 for kids, that’s what best describes the Ed, Edd n Eddy show. Its an important show for kids. It teaches them how much fun destructive getting high can be.
Courage the Cowardly Dog – Nothing freaked me out more than this show as a kid. A cowardly dog, a desolate location, and above all, a host of creepy villains. And the creepiest of them all? Freaky Fred. Shudder now, kids.
The Flintstones – Flintstones changed the way I looked at things. I would look at a vaccum cleaner and wished it was a mini mastodon instead. Modern life can be so banal.
George Orwell wasn’t much of a fun person. This is clearly evident when he wrote about two very über cool cities in his downer of a book called Down & Out in Paris and London. Since I am a chock full of sunshine, here is my top dos & don’ts when in Paris and London.
(Note: This is not a “Top 10 things to do in London” kind of a list. They are merely my observations and recommendations)
At the Père Lachaise Cemetery
…take a river cruise down the Seine. For a mere 14 euros, meander up and down the gorgeous Seine, as many times as you want and soak in the panoramic views of the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame Cathedral.
View of the Eiffel Tower from the boat
…throw flowers, cigarettes, records, etc at Jim Morrison’s grave at the Père Lachaise Cemetery. All the cool kids are doing it. While you are at it, kiss Oscar Wilde too.
Jim Morrison's grave
Dry humping Oscar Wilde, a wild dream indeed
…try the French Onion soup at any of the cute cafes dotted along Avenue de Suffren, near the Eiffel tower. This is heaven. In a bowl. With oodles of cheese and caramelized onions. (Strict vegetarians, stay away. Beef stock is involved.)
The French Onion Nom Nom Soup
Before the kids from F.R.I.E.N.D.S and How I Met Your Mother were gallivanting around in New York and getting tangled up in (unnecessary) romantic messes, there was a group of fine, upstanding, amoral and eccentric fellows from Seinfeld, who unleashed havoc on innocent bystanders on a regular basis. Yes, I am obsessed with Seinfeld. Yes, I am recapturing the glorious bits of the show about nothing; you can call it the Greatest Hits. I call it SeinfeldVision (Thank you, 30 Rock).
Seinfeld might have been copied and raped by TV sitcoms that succeeded it, but one area where they still reign supreme are the nicknames the protagonists give to other characters. Wildly imaginative and supremely catchy, here are my top 8 favourite nicknames from the show:
Nickname: The Bra-less Wonder
Episode: The Caddy, Season 7, Episode 12
Ah, Sue Ellen Mischke, heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar empire, arch nemesis to Elaine and of course, the Bra-less Wonder. A very free spirit, Sue Ellen, has a penchant for roaming around without a bra, which aggravates Elaine enough to call her the Bra-less Wonder. Angered, Elaine not so subtly gifts her a bra for her birthday. By the end of the episode, Sue Ellen goes from the Bra-less Wonder to Wonder Bra Woman, when she coolly wears Elaine’s gift as a top. With a snazzy jacket, of course.
Nickname: The Bubble Boy
Episode: The Bubble Boy, Season 4, Episode 7
The thought of a young boy, trapped in a sealed plastic environment due to a poor immune system might seem sad. That is what everyone thought when the Bubble Boy’s father asked Jerry, the boy’s favourite comedian, to visit him. Little did anyone know that the Bubble Boy is a mean, insolent and bratty kid who would have definitely been punched in the face, well, if there weren’t any plastic bubble divider. The game of Trivial Pursuit that is played between him and George is simply epic. Moops!
Continue reading
Tattoos have come a long, long way, baby.
The dregs of society had their pinup dolls; the hippie revolutionaries had their peace signs; and today, we can tattoo whatever we want on our skin. It is self-expression mixed with art. Music is one of the paramount mediums for art and expression. The artist or the band creates their vision; the fans immerse themselves in the vision, forging a powerful bond. A few lines from a song which at some point in life had helped you out, which reminds you of a time long gone by or which simply makes you feel like yourself – that is all you need to scribble on your body.
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
Imagine by John Lennon
My pretty friend Sunneith's equally pretty Radiohead tattoo
Awake by Textures, another of Sunneith's tattoos
Come As You Are by Nirvana
A lover of tattoos, I am. If my cup had runneth over with cash, I would have had several more tattoos emblazoned on my skin by now. My skin is destined to be a notebook because I prefer words over fairies and fonts over rainbow hues. Ink in the shape of poetry and lyrics; they look gorgeous on skin.
I have two lyrical tattoos. “Strength Beyond Strength” by Pantera is etched on my left ribs and from the song Rotten Apple by Alice in Chains, I have “I’ve written my own part” scribbled on my right arm. They are meaningful, personal and poignant, like most lyrical and literary tattoos are. Well, that is not completely true. I saw the lyrics of Circus by Britney Spears permanently etched on someone’s back. That’s it. I had to mention that. The deep end of lyrical tattoos. For those who want to view prettier and far more elegant tattoos, head over to Flickr’s The Lyrical Tattoos Pool.
Strength Beyond Strength by Pantera
Quick tips on getting lyrical tattoos:
1. Interpretation: Make sure your tattoo stands for what you want it to mean. We’ve learnt in poetry class that a line can be twisted and contorted to mean anything. While that is true, words are far more restrictive than imagery when it comes to interpretation. You can interpret a tattoo of a flower any way you can. It can represent death of a loved one or love for botany! Try interpreting “Biotech is Godzilla”.
2. Homage: Someone once told me, “Always get a tattoo of a band which has disbanded, preferably due to death – then later they don’t come out with a crappy album which will make you hate them and your tattoo forever!” This might be a bit extreme, but hey, if it’s your first tattoo, then might stick to songs from the legends. Justin Bieber need not apply here.
3. The 40-year test: This is a little test I apply for all tattoos. Three little questions are on this test – How will it look, 40 years from now? Will it mean the same to me? And will I be the ultimate douche for getting this tattoo?
4. Interpretation, Part Deux: We all have our own interpretations of our loved songs, but so do the guys who write these songs. According to Green Day vocalist/guitarist, Billie Joe Armstrong, their song “Time of Your Life” is a classic “fuck you” song, and most definitively not a romantic ballad, which everyone thinks that it is. Now, you wouldn’t want to tattoo a “fuck you” song for your wife on your chest, right? It’s best if you do your research.
So, if you had to, which lyrics would you tattoo on your body? An homage to the Beatles or the Britney?
Also See: Contrariwise, a collection of literary tattoos
Images thanks to Flickr’s Lyrical Tattoos Pool and Sunneith Revankar
Holiday Package: The Hippie Backpackers Special
Location: Secluded beachy islands with fields of marijuana, Thailand
Travel Guide: The Beach by Alex Garland (1996)
The Beach is sure to be found in the back pocket of every backpacker in the world. The quest is not only about finding the secluded paradise beach, but also finding whether it is possible to live in an idyllic commune, isolated from civilization.
Holiday Package: Super Spelunking Special
Location: Underground caves, Iceland
Travel Guide: A Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne (1864)
Calling all pseudo adrenaline junkies and adventurists. For those who can’t, but still dream, A Journey to the Centre of the Earth is the ultimate book on hardcore adventure and fantasy. Descending into volcanoes, witnessing dinosaur fights and running into giant prehistoric humans – this is a surreal expedition your mind should not miss.
The Mr. Darcy Conundrum
We live in the 21st century. Women are independent, successful, hard-working, contributing members of the society. So why do we still swoon over a 19th century literary character? I present to all – The Mr. Darcy Conundrum
Mr. Darcy: The Reel Thing
In 1813, Ms Jane Austen bestowed upon the world her literary masterpiece – Pride & Prejudice – and along with it introduced us to the enigmatic character of Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. At the age of eight, I was enthralled by him, as my sister used to read the book out to me, before I drifted off to slumber land. My dreams were sweetened further when I became obsessed by the book, and in particular, Mr. Darcy at the age of 13. I now have developed a more mature sense of attraction for him – as a young adult. It’s time to jump in the deep end of the pool and discover the reasons why we love to love and lust Mr. Darcy.
It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and my Internet is down. My mind is telling me to reach for a book, but my body says “Hey man. Let me rest. Why don’t we just press these little buttons on this remote right next to us?” – so the channel surfing begins. After 10 minutes of flipping […]
Before the kids from F.R.I.E.N.D.S and How I Met Your Mother were gallivanting around in New York and getting tangled up in (unnecessary) romantic messes, there was a group of fine, upstanding, amoral and eccentric fellows from Seinfeld, who unleashed havoc on innocent bystanders on a regular basis. Yes, I am obsessed with Seinfeld. Yes, […]
Tattoos have come a long, long way, baby. The dregs of society had their pinup dolls; the hippie revolutionaries had their peace signs; and today, we can tattoo whatever we want on our skin. It is self-expression mixed with art. Music is one of the paramount mediums for art and expression. The artist or the […]
Today, a geriatric man whacked me with his newspaper at Churchgate station. He looked senile and sweet, so I didn’t mind getting my head knocked around. As I walked away, this apprehension crept over me that, perhaps one and a half year of not commuting by the local train has made me cushy. I might […]
What? Download Festival 2010 Where? Donington, Leicestershire, United Kingdom When? 11th-13th June 2010 Music festivals are a hoot and a half. No, seriously, my first time at a music festival, I got off the bus, looked around at all the other unclean hobo-esque people around me, and said to myself – “Rinnie, this is a […]
