And so it begins. Shirley Manson maybe happy when it rains, but I don’t want to spend the rest of the rainy season constantly tweeting about how much I hate it, so let me purge my annoyance away.
1. The tragic tale of potholes and floods
The tragedy is that I always see BMC workers fixing the roads in Khar and Bandra, but somehow the potholes keep multiplying and growing bigger. Travelling on these roads is life threatening; unless you have a big fat SUV. I, however, travel by rickshaws. What it means is that my internal organs are all jumbled up inside. The rain makes it worse, so I weep.
On that note, listen to this song.
2. Late, forever
I’m always on time. ALWAYS. My friends hate me for this, but whatever. The rains reign havoc on my punctuality. Trains are delayed, traffic refuses to budge, taxis and rickshaws snub those drowning in the rain – the whole city comes to a standstill (but “resilient” Mumbaikars still persevere on). Worse, this is a perfect excuse for my aforementioned friends to use when they are late for personal reasons.
3. Dear MTNL, are you there?
It’s me, a harrowed customer. I will tolerate anything, but I WILL NOT tolerate not having high-speed Internet.
4. Umbrellas: friend or foe?
Umbrellas aren’t what they used to be and old-school ones are too cumbersome to lug around. On many occasions, my flaky umbrella has turned inside out. It’s embarrassing to wrestle an umbrella while trying to keep yourself dry at the same time. Also, I’m forever in fear of being impaled in the eye by someone else’s umbrella.
5. Slippery when wet
‘Tis the season for much folly. I’m an accident-prone girl, and the wet roads and floors do little to help this situation. I will fall down, in an undignified way. I know it. The rains know it. I hate it.
To avoid slipping on the streets during the rains, I invested in sensible gumboots last year. Much to my chagrin, they weren’t well-received anywhere outside Bandra. Little beggar kids laughed at me, ladies in the train glared at me, it wasn’t fun.
7. Sticky situation
Ladies, I’m sure you will agree with me on this one. Apart from disgusting muck flying around everywhere and destroying our precious attires, the rain does no favours to our equally precious hair. It’s all sticky and icky, every day. You might as well toss your flattening irons away for a few months.
8. Banished from the outside world
Want to have a smoke outside? Denied. Want to go for a jog? Denied. Want to throw a party on a lovely terrace? Denied.
9. Have pet, will stink
My dog, Poshto, is a Chihuahua and like a good Mexican, he enjoys his siestas in the sun. When he doesn’t sunbathe, he gets extra-stinky. I love him, but I don’t particularly like smelly blankets.
10. Incessant rain = Incessant tweets
I’m not against tweets of the helpful kind; but the overdose of “I vuw rains”, “I h8 rains” and “Oh look, it is raining! Hahaha!” on my timeline is a bit annoying. This is the main reason for this post. I’m getting all the hate out of my system.
Now, don’t think I detest rains with every fiber of my being. I think the weather is perfect for late night drives and hanging out on my balcony with my stinky Poshto and a steaming cup of bitter black coffee. I love rains, just a little bit though.
So, what do you hate/love about the rains? Do let me know in the comments section below!