RIP Cartoon Network

Rest in Peace

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and my Internet is down. My mind is telling me to reach for a book, but my body says “Hey man. Let me rest. Why don’t we just press these little buttons on this remote right next to us?” – so the channel surfing begins. After 10 minutes of flipping channels, I find Cartoon Network; or the ghost of Cartoon Network, from what I could gather.  Cartoon Network was dead, I sadly realized. Much sorrow and sympathy goes out to my little nephew and niece who will never know how awesome Cartoon Network used to be.  To honour the dead, in no particular order, here are my favourite Cartoon Network shows. Remember them?

(Click on the show for opening credits and intros)

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squardon – Whether you are a girl or a boy, T-Bone and Razor had you hooked. I loved this action packed series about crime fighting CATS.  I might even had a crush on T-Bone as a kid. I’ll never tell.

Dexter’s Laboratory – Stuck between Dee Dee’s dance and Mandark’s evil laugh, no wonder Dexter had to keep running to his secret lab for solace. Even though most his inventions got him into a world of trouble, Dexter just kept on building them. Respect.

Ed, Edd n Eddy – Stoners 101 for kids, that’s what best describes the Ed, Edd n Eddy show. Its an important show for kids. It teaches them how much fun destructive getting high can be.

Courage the Cowardly Dog – Nothing freaked me out more than this show as a kid. A cowardly dog, a desolate location, and above all, a host of creepy villains. And the creepiest of them all? Freaky Fred. Shudder now, kids.

The Flintstones – Flintstones changed the way I looked at things. I would look at a vaccum cleaner and wished it was a mini mastodon instead. Modern life can be so banal.

Extreme Ghostbusters – Not many people liked it, but I loved the short-lived Extreme Ghostbusters. Yea, yea, they weren’t the original Ghostbusters, but they still had some interesting storylines and characters. Also, I’m saying this only because I am a sucker for anything supernatural.

The Real Adventure of Jonny Quest – Forget their mysteries, exotic locales and even their virtual reality of Quest World. Jonny had me at the get go – with the kick ass opening credits.

The Mask – The thought of masking oneself and indulging in every wild and deviant dream imaginable is an appealing idea. Maybe that’s why I like this show so much. Fuck being repressed; you have got to unleash your wild side from time to time!

The Little Lulu Show – I wanted to be the smart talking-panty showing-stand up comedian that Little Lulu was. Which girl didn’t? She was witty, intelligent, and above all, normal, which is a rare thing to find in cartoons.

The New Addams Family – There is no other word perfect enough to describe this family apart from macabre. Eccentric, creepy, dramatic and aberrant – yes, but we keep coming back to macabre. The weirder the family got, the more tightly they stuck together, which gave hope to all those weird little kids out there, including me. (On a side note, does anyone else think Morticia was a total hottie for someone so pale and cold?)

Tom & Jerry – Stalwarts of cartoons, bow to the violent duo who can do no wrong (except maybe for that disaster called the Tom & Jerry kids). Decades after decades, Tom and Jerry has been entertaining kids with their shenanigans and it seems it is one of the shows that will last for generations to come in spite of Cartoon Network’s apparent demise. They are an institution. I love them. And if you are wondering, I always root for poor Tom.

Top Cat – I lied. It’s true that this list is in no particular order, but that stops here. Top Cat is my all time favourite cartoon show. Why? Because of TC, yo.  A jazzy street smart-smooth talker- petty crook of a cat he was. His entourage not only had colourful characters, but colourful furs as well. Top Cat was the ultimate leader. Take lessons from him, kids. Trust his wisdom.

Honourable Mentions:

Captain Planet and the Planeteers – Captain Planet was sort of lame, but the rings were cool, no?
I Am Weasel – The show should have been named IR Baboon
The Powerpuff Girls – One Word – Mojo Jojo
Johnny Bravo – A show that will make the Jersey Shore guys doubt their himbo status.
Touché Turtle and Dum Dum – I liked it primarily because it had a monster fighting turtle, brandishing a sword and yelling “Touché Away!”. 
The Scooby Doo Show – Jinkies! Those are some damn predictable plots! But Shaggy was kind of cute…
Laff-a-lympics – Look at all the stars in this show! Mutley! Scooby! Yogi! Snagglepuss!
Jetsons – Antithesis to the Flintstones, the space age Jetsons made us believe that by now we all would be living in the sky and flying space ships everywhere. Oh, how they lied.
Yogi Bear – He is smarter than the average bear. And he had this great Christmas special called Yogi’s First Christmas which Cartoon Network would show every year.  Christmas ain’t the same without it.

Maybe I am old and I can’t relate to the new generation; but that can’t be right since I love Scooby Doo and Top Cat, and they are definitely not cartoons from the 90s. So, younger generations, you suck – purely because Cartoon Network didn’t give you a chance with their current annoying line up of shows. As for the older generations, we are pretty cool, right? Also did I miss any awesomely awesome shows on my list? Let me know in the comments section below!